Tuesday was a blow to my self confidence, but I am feeling better today. I listened to I AM WOMAN about ten times in a row, singing right along (not too loud since Eddy is home and I suck) and it helped me focus. A full eight hours of sleep is also a big benefit.
My biggest fear is losing my breasts. I know reconstruction has come a long, long way in the last few years and insurance is required to pay for it, but that is not what I want. I am being forced into a situation that I did not choose and it very, very frustrating. Right now, I believe the plan is still for a lumpectomy but I will not know until after the ultrasound and possible biopsy. Fear of the unknown is almost paralyzing.
Eddy told me he would not stop loving me no matter what happens and that is a huge relief. I just needed to hear him say it to me and he did. Cancer is going to make us closer and we will come out the other side stronger than ever. We are invincible.
I want to thank everyone, again, for the cards, emails and flowers. You are helping me get through the tunnel my life is right now so I can come out into the sunshine on the other side. It is so beneficial to know I have a team of friends and family thinking good thoughts for me, keep up the positive energy.....I need it.
Signing off for the day....need to get some work done!
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