Cancer Do's & Don'ts

I found this on the internet and made major changes since it was geared for kids with cancer. My thought is the information will help all of you.


Cancer patients often find it hard to talk frankly to family and friends. They find that some friends can't handle their situation and never call, they find that someone they hardly knew before becomes their best friend and helper. Family and friends in turn sometimes just don't know the right thing to say to or do for someone with cancer.

SOME IDEAS TO HELP YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH CANCER
Clean their house for when they come home from the hospital or pay to have someone clean the house.

Get them a gift certificate for video rentals or groceries. You can even pick up groceries.

Drop off puzzle, books, magazines, etc. After surgery you need to take it easy, which is hard for a lot of people to do. Having a puzzle, books or magazines kind of gives you the excuse to take it easy.

Bring a favorite food or a meal. A family friend may arrange with other friends to drop off meals. Sign up and then actually do it! Do not call the day you are scheduled for meal drop off and make an excuse....order Chinese or something.

Send cards and silly, fun things (snail mail is great). Humor is the best medicine.

Suggest a little bit of exercise and then come with us! It is much easier to get motivated if you have a friend there with you. Walks are good!

Don't take "we don't need any help" as the final response...ask again. Don't say, "call if you need something" , they probably won't call. It is hard to say "yes, I need help". A better way to help might be to say, "I want to come clean your toilets, will 2:00 pm work for you?" or on Tuesday I am coming to do your laundry, will that be okay?" or "I want to drop off a a meal this week, does Friday fit your schedule?"

Emotional support. Just make a point to call, once a week or every two weeks. Sending an email works as well. When you have cancer you feel alone, it feels good to know someone is thinking of you.

It is much more comfortable if people just deal with cancer head on and acknowledged that something horrible is happening. It is okay to say "this sucks" , because it does.